The Top 7 Things We’ve Learned from Watching Porn for Women

Porn for women has amassed a pretty decent following in the last few years- and for good reason.

Alright, real talk. The only thing I’ve ever learned from watching mainstream porn is that “show up & get naked” is literally the entire recipe for a full-blown orgy. Or just order a pizza, and your delivery boy will then immediately deliver something that is bound to be more hot and spicy than that lukewarm pepperoni. In short, mainstream porn teaches us very little about what sex is actually like, and a whole lot more about the highlights of standard dude fantasy.

Porn for women, however, is an entirely different animal. “What we find with porn that is more tailored to a feminine perspective is that it tends to fit reality a bit more.” Say the experts at PornDoe, a site that caters to any number or erotic predilections, not just porn for women. “Generally, we find that women tend to search for queer or lesbian porn, with an interest in the type of porn that focuses more on foreplay, realistic actors, and sensual sex.” While most people may immediately associate softcore with lady porn, Porndoe says that’s not actually the case. “Women are just as kinky as men, but they tend to want to see something more believable within the genre they like.”

So what exactly is it that porn for women offers? Well, as it turns out, some really excellent tips and tricks for you to bring to the bedroom.

Role Play

Go all out when it comes to role play. While feminist and ethically produced porn isn’t without its own cheesy storylines and over the top caricatures, it embraces these cliche roles with gusto.

When it comes to getting wild at home, throw in some role play, and go all in. Snag some goofy costumes cheap when Halloween supply stores host blow out sales. Try on a ridiculous accent or two. In short, be comfortable playing with your partner. Playful sex can be really gratifying, as it can serve to take some of the anxious tension out of the deed- leaving you and your partner much more relaxed and in a mood to be extra inventive.

Talk Dirty

While dirty talk can definitely be super cringey, a la John Cena in Trainwreck, done right it can really open up some doors to a new dimension of sexuality. Dirty talk doesn’t need to be over the top or even derogatory. Explore the depths of discussion with your partner and just see where it leads you. Sometimes just a simple narration of what you’re doing, how it feels, or what you’d like done is a great way to get started.

Take Your Time

While most online porn from start to finish takes a whole whopping 17 minutes, real sex can- and possibly should- take hours. Start slow and seductively, building up to a climax over time. Throw in some much-needed cunnilingus. Feel like your beau isn’t exactly cliterate? Not to worry, most porn designed with women in mind can definitely give you an idea of what great oral looks like. As we all know, sex is an exchange, so figure out a good bit of give and take in the mouth to member department, swapping back and forth until neither one of you can wait any longer.

It Doesn’t Matter What You Look Like

Mainstream porn seems to have a nasty little habit of only using hairless, glistening bodies that could easily be confused for the Sphinx cat breed. Which, let’s face it- doesn’t really represent what the large majority of us are bringing to the table. Perhaps the most fantastic thing about real-life sex (and consequently porn for women) is that there is far less emphasis placed on what you look like, and a whole lot more focus directed about what you bring to the bedroom personally. There is no need to show up, freshly shorn as a spring lamb, and looking like you just stepped out of the pages of Vogue. Real sex is about real people, and real people have blemishes, flub, scars, and bad hair days- and frankly, that’s really hot.

Live on the Edge

Edging is the latest craze, quite possibly because of the massive emphasis that alt pornography has given it. It’s the act of getting right on the edge of orgasm and stopping short of what you’re doing. Denying yourself or/and your partner the sweet release of orgasm. However, with edging the fun doesn’t stop, instead, it’s merely put on hold while you and your partner focus on other things, like exploring one another’s bodies, or focusing on other areas, only to build up once again.

Avoid Genitals

Sounds crazy right? But no- perhaps one of the greatest things that porn for women can teach us, is the idea of waiting for dessert. Instead, taking time to focus on any number of other erogenous zones, whether they be the neck, thighs, or even the mind. The beauty of drawn-out foreplay is that it creates a sense of anticipatory tension, targeting an entirely different pleasure center within our brains. Building up a sense of anticipation has a ton to do with creating delicious sexual tension, which will then translate beautifully into that O face later.