That Elevator Makeout Session

“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips . . . His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine . . . My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance . . . His erection is against my belly.”

The First Time

“Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off and throws them on the floor. Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free. Holy cow! . . . He kneels up and pulls a condom onto his considerable length. Oh no . . . Will it? How?”

The Opening Oral Sex Scene

“Turning to face him, I’m shocked to find he has his erection firmly in his grasp. My mouth drops open. ‘I want you to become well acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body.'”

The Tampon Exchange

“His breathing is ragged, matching mine. ‘When did you start your period, Anastasia?’ . . . He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string – what?! – and gently takes my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all . . . Jeez. And then he’s inside me. . . ah!”

Salsa Moves and Penis Popsicles

“I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He’s my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder . . . Hmm . . . My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.”

Baby Oil Butt Rubs

“Sitting beside me, he gently pulls my sweatpants down. Up and down like a whores’ drawers, my subconscious remarks bitterly. In my head, I tell her where to go. Christian squirts baby oil into his hand and then rubs my behind with careful tenderness — from makeup remover to soothing balm for a spanked ass, who would have thought it was such a versatile liquid.”

The Kinky Comes Out

“Suddenly he grabs me, tipping me across his lap. With one smooth movement, he angles his body so my torso is resting on the bed beside him. He throws his right leg over both mine and plants his left forearm on the small of my back, holding me down so I cannot move . . . He places his hand on my naked behind, softly fondling me, stroking around and around with his flat palm. And then his hand is no longer there . . . and he hits me — hard.”

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We would have given one of our kidneys for 30 seconds in those seats. You think we are joking, but we are deadly serious. No argument you can make is going to make this picture go away.

A Ukrainian journalist showed his affection for Brad Cooper in the only logical way, dropping to one knee and placing his face inches from Coop’s beef whistle. What, that’s how we say hello in Ukraine!

Brad Pitt is taking a page from the book of Beckham with this cut, and he can’t fool us. When is the biopic coming out Brad? We’re on to you!

Most actors who play ruthless meth barons and the like are connected with their character and often perceived in real life as fickle or lonerish. Not Walter White, who dominated the slideshows of backstage debauchery. Maybe he’s dipping into his own product…

When there is a Silver Lining in the Playbook, the opportunities are Limitless. Doesn’t make sense, but those are the two DeNiro-Cooper movie titles in one sentence, how many people can do that? Not many.

Jared Leto won the Jesus lookalike competition against himself. Side note, Matthew McConaughey’s wife is even out of Jesus’ league, which says something about old Matty Boy. Dude is a legend.

Why did J-Law have to start going to Miley Cyrus’ hair stylist? Are women bringing the 40’s back style wise? We sure hope not. Shout out to Law and Order lady in the middle.

If you have seen The Heat, which we haven’t, you probably know how these two sly cougars are going to take down this unsuspecting sheep, but lord willing they will. What out, young Efron.

These awards are a time when celebrities are forced to mingle, and they end up having a really good time. Here is a young actress, Lupita Nyongo, someone who is probably a great influence and inspiration, the might O, Oprah.

Emma T was chugging wine spritzers when Oprah told her about the photobombing phenomenon, and it was game over for the rest of the night. Vino and photobombing never mix well.

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It takes creativity and patience to turn food and random household objects into compelling scenes from life, and these amazing creations do just that.

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These classic movie moments captured in stills should bring up some powerful emotions, or make you want to watch them again.

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