1. Paris writhes around next to a pool in a crystal-studded swimsuit and high heels. She probably designed them herself because she’s a true renaissance woman.

2. Paris hangs out with some friends and some inflatables, including a giraffe because duh she loves animals.

3. Paris holds a private party for one at sunset. Her tanlines must be fascinating.

4. Paris has a pool party that looks shockingly similar to Bar Mitzvahs I went to in 1998, except with fewer clothes.

5. Paris loses a dance-off with a robot.

6. Paris fulfills a contractual obligation.

7. Lil Wayne fulfills a contractual obligation.

8. Paris searches for her preciousssss.

9. Paris holds a “future boyfriend” audition.
