Do you laugh at dilettantes who can’t spell Christian Louboutin? Shopping doesn’t make any sense if you didn’t buy at least one pair of shoes? You get personally offended by people wearing monstrous shoes or thinking that one or two pairs of footwear is enough. Carrie Bradshaw is your spirit animal? Congrats, you are a shoe junkie. If you wanna make sure of it here is a list of things you’ve probably experienced at one point or another.

1. You consciously tried to squeeze your feet into a pair of discount drop-dead-classy Manolo Blahniks that are one size too small…and you nailed it. Moreover, you bought those puppies, even though you can’t feel your feet walking in them. You’ve made this mistake more than a dozen of times, and you do not regret buying those never-ending pairs of shoes that are meant to be placed in your closet till the time you’d drop a couple of foot sizes.

2. If you had a dollar every time people asked you ‘Do you really need another pair of shoes, you already have almost the same pair”, you would be able to build your own shoe empire. Seriously, just roll your eyes and show those shoe threats how it’s done.

3. You could never get enough pairs of black boots and you can fiercely defend every pair ‘cause they look completely different. Moreover, these cuties even match your personality.

4. You have nothing left to do but ask your BF to move out and turn a spare room into a walk-in shoe closet. And you don’t care if you show more affection toward your footwear, unconditional love means putting others first, in this case it’s about shoes, OK?

5. You’d prefer to die rather than admit to shoe pain. And NO, there’s no need to bring an extra pair of flats just in case, cause no matter what you’ll never take those fabulous heels off. Only a high heel junkie can totally get it.

6. You have more images of your shoe goals than selfies saved in your phone. Those who have a penchant for footwear are not really interested in taking selfies.

7. You literally can’t get those $1.000 sexy Miu Miu platforms out of your head. You foam at the mouth just imagining yourself rocking the streets wearing such treasures. Your eternal struggles will drive you crazy unless you break the bank and satisfy your soul with buying those.

8. You hate public transportation because you go bananas if something like this happens. Seriously, stay away from my shoes.

9. You keep all of your babies in perfect condition, and there is nothing more unfair than to pick a pair in the morning. You like to comfort your relatives with an excuse that at least you are not addicted to cocaine. I kid. I kid.

The post 9 Things Only Shoe Obsessed People Understand appeared first on 12thBLOG.

Eleven years ago we were just sitting around watching Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story (not that those are bad), but then something magical happened. You could call it the Christmas miracle of 2003. Elf hit theaters and your life has never been the same.

Forget the fact that it doesn’t even need to be Christmas for you to sit down and sing along with Buddy the Elf and Zooey Deschanel. However, it’s that time of year again, and if you haven’t already watched it at least a dozen times, you’re about to relive the best movie ever, probably more than once and you will probably force it on everyone you know and your entire extended family. You might say that you like Elf a lot, but others would say that you’re completely addicted and you can’t ever get through a normal conversation without thinking about how it relates back to Will Ferrell and his adventure to find his dad. Seriously though, the amount of times you’ve said, “Byeeeee Buddy! I hope you find your dad,” has reached an all time high over the past few weeks.

It’s okay. We aren’t judging you. In fact, we are right there with you, sharing this obsession. Here are 14 signs that you’re completely addicted to Elf:

Instead of calling people names, your go-to diss is “Cotton-headed ninny muggins.”

Any time you watch Game of Thrones and see Tyrion, your response is, “He’s an angry elf!”

When someone mentions your pal Santa, you like to yell that YOU KNOW HIM!

You live by the elf food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

Speaking of food, you had spaghetti with syrup earlier today, and you don’t even regret it.

Your friends are so over your pick-up line, “Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”

You’ve been attempting to perfect the paper snowflake for years.

Sometimes you like to ride up the escalator like Buddy, because you want to see how far your leg can stretch.

You live by them. Especially the one about eating gum on the side of the road.

Anytime someone asks you on a date you have one simple request: “I thought maybe we could make gingerbread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.”

Probably doesn’t mean lingerie.

You have a vision in your head of what a mailroom looks like and it involves booze and dancing. Don’t let anyone ruin that for you.

You learned everything you need to know about life from Buddy the Elf. Except Etch-a-sketch, you still have no f*cking idea how that thing works.

The post 14 Signs You’re Obsessed With The Movie ‘Elf’ appeared first on 12thBLOG.