From New York to Los Angeles and towns in between, YourTango set out to discover that answer by asking, “What’s the best love advice you ever heard?” Here, you’ll learn the marriage mantra Kyra Sedgwick shared with Angie Harmon, why actor Eric Dane considers himself so lucky in love, and much more. And don’t be shy … add your own “best love advice” in the comments!

1. Actress And Comedian Mindy Kaling

“My mom always used to say, “You can’t say I love you before you can say I.” And I think that sort of makes sense.”

2. Fox Sports Reporter Erin Andrews
“From my mom and dad, because they’re happily married for a long time: Just listen. Listen to him. I’m so independent and driven and stubborn. Just let him talk. It’s about not being so stubborn and having to win every argument. My parents set a great example. They love each other and take care of each other so much.”

3. Singer Jessie James
“It’s kind of cheesy, but my mama, who you all have seen on the show, says to cook for your man. She’s Southern, so when he comes home, be pullin’ a pie out of the oven. That’s always been her advice, and you know what? It works. Your man wants to see you in the kitchen, puttin’ some love into some food; it works for Eric, that’s for sure.”

4. Actress Candace Cameron Bure
“The best advice I’ve ever been given is being handed a Bible. That’s the blueprint for marriage that we go by, and that’s what our marriage is grounded in. We also have other married couples who are examples in our lives. My parents have been married over 40 years, and both sets of grandparents for over 65 years. When you see couples in long-term relationships and you see them go through good times and bad times, you realize it’s about being committed enough and loving your partner enough to hang in there regardless.”

5. HGTV’s Anthony Carrino
“My mom told me, “It shouldn’t be that difficult.” My parents had their moments for sure, but the majority of their relationship has been really great. It shouldn’t be that much work to make love work.”

6. HGTV’s John Colaneri
“Always be honest.”

7. The Real Housewives of Orange County’s Lydia McLaughlin
“Love is a decision, not just an emotion. It is selfless, and a commitment.”

8. TV Personality Giuliana Rancic
“You’ve got to be good to each other … it really comes back to respect. I was raised in a very Catholic, Italian family and it was all about respect. Don’t talk badly about [your partner] the second they walk out the door; really preserve your relationship and be good to each other. Treat it like gold.”

9. Actor Joe Manganiello
“The best love advice I’ve ever received is probably, ‘I’m not leaving the relationship; I’m just leaving the house.'”

10. TV Personality Andy Cohen
“Just go with your gut and communicate.”

11. Actress Alyson Hannigan
“Don’t ever spend more than three weeks apart. Two and a half weeks, maybe three, was the longest we ever did.”

12. TV Host & Actress Vanessa Lachey
“Don’t lie to your partner. Ultimately the expression on your face gives you away, and they feel betrayed by the lie. If this is the person you’re going to be with—forever and ever, for better or worse—they will love you for all of your good and all of your bad. They’ll love you for you. So open communication is key. I have no secrets and no skeletons in my closet with my husband, and I love that. I feel comfortable and at ease with myself when I’m around him. I love the woman that I’ve become with him.”

13: Burlesque Dancer Dita Von Teese
“I think the best love advice I’ve ever received is really about understanding that communication is key, of course, but also that there’s not one perfect person for you. You kind of have to accept what are the things that are negotiable for you and what are not.”

14. NFL Player Victor Cruz
“Take your time. Love is gonna come. Don’t force it. Don’t try to make it happen. Relax, take your time, and you’ll know when it’s there. My mom gave me that advice.”

15. Socialite Paris Hilton
“[My mom told me] to always be loyal and treat someone how you want to be treated. Find someone that you can love and that’s going to be your best friend.”

16. 30 Rock’s Katrina Bowden
“My mom always told me, “Whatever happens, will happen” or ‘Whatever is supposed to happen, will happen.” I’ve learned you’ll know when you find the right person. When I found the right person, I knew it immediately.”

17. The Hills’ Kristin Cavallari
“Someone gave me the Love Languages book, and that has been the best book I’ve ever read about relationships and has helped me the most.”

18. The Five Love Languages Author Dr. Gary Chapman
“Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a bit of advice I was given was to become a student of my wife and to take time to learn what makes her feel loved. I soon learned that what makes her feel loved may not always be the thing I want to do because it may not come natural to me. But learning to love her in the way that makes her feel loved is a greater demonstration of my love for her, because I’ve chosen to do it with a goal of pleasing her.”

19. Kim Kardashian’s BFF Jonathan Cheban
“Pay attention to the girl, instead of myself. A bunch of people [told me that]. It’s terrible. I’m very into myself, so people are always like, “Pay attention to the other person. Don’t ever separate yourself.” It’s a good lesson. I’m learning. I’m doing good.”

20. TV Personality Kelly Ripa
“Don’t get divorced after your first argument! I have a lot of friends that have one fight and that’s it, they get divorced. I go, ‘Wait a minute! Oh my gosh, you guys! Calm down! You’ll forget in three days what you were fighting about. I promise. So just let it marinate a little bit—that’s my best love advice.”

21. The Real Housewives of Miami’s Adriana de Moura
“When I was about 15, [my grandmother] said something I will always remember: ‘Love comes before money.’ I will never let anything like greed come between us when it comes to love. She was married to my grandfather for 70 years. It’s very hard to have a long-term relationship and if you’re not sure, it’s not going to last. Make sure that you truly love.”

22. Actor & Host Mario Lopez
“Treat a woman how you’d want someone to treat your mom.”

23 The Bachelorette’s Desiree Hartsock
“I think it’s trying to see through the other’s eyes and allowing yourself to be selfless. I think that’s when you have a balanced give-and-take to keep a good foundation.”

24. Olympic Gold Medal Winner Gabby Douglas
“Don’t be shy. Go for it and ask your crush out.”

25. American Idol and Glee’s Jessica Sanchez
“Have fun. Especially while you’re still young, you gotta keep the spark up. Even when things get boring, just remember to have fun.”

26. Pretty Little Liars’ Sasha Pieterse
“If you’re looking for love, focus on something you love to do and work hard. Love will find you. Basically, love yourself before you love anyone else. A lot of girls have such insecurities nowadays that you have to be comfortable with who you are before you can really have a good relationship with someone else.”

27. Professional Volleyball Player Gabrielle Reece
“Have a short memory and a lot of forgiveness. Especially us girls who don’t forget a thing. Move on …”

28. Fashion Designer Zac Posen
“Love advice is like life advice, so there are so many elements of that. I think humor, patience, admiration are really important love elements. Love and respect. You have to respect the person that you’re going to love, and you have to be confident in yourself and love yourself.”

29. CNN’s HLN News Anchor Robin Meade
“‘Think about how much you’d miss that if he were gone tomorrow.’ This is my senior producer’s advice in my ear during our news show if I’m grumbling about my hubby, whether about his habit of leaving dirty clothes around, or the way he goes into la la land while I’m talking with him, or that he wakes me up being loud overnight. How true! Heaven forbid, but if something ever happens to our loved ones, oh how we’d long for them to be back, and their little aggravating habits would be something cherished.

“On the other hand the best love advice I’ve ever given is: Gals, don’t marry someone for their looks. Sooner or later we all age and start to droop. Don’t marry someone for their position and don’t marry someone for money. Money comes and goes, and since when is that love? Marry someone because they make you laugh. Humor is always sexy. Besides, it’s awfully hard to get mad at someone while they’re making you laugh.”

30. The Real Housewives of New York’s Heather Thomson
“Well, it’s one of the oldest. It really is paradoxical, but it’s true: You just can’t go to bed mad. You have to make up, because there’s only one alternative, and that alternative is not being together. So, my husband and I always decide we might as well make up, whether we agree to disagree or not. We understand we are individuals and that together we’re unbelievably powerful and that we have a family that is the most important thing, and that I wouldn’t trade him for the world. So, love is about give and take, and love is about understanding that you’re individuals and together as a couple, you’re the strongest there ever is ifyou’re in the right couple.”

31. Sex Expert Emily Morse
“Love yourself, open your heart which means doing the work on yourself first. Then love will follow.”

32. Property Brothers’ Drew Scott
“Maya Angelou’s quote: ‘I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'”

33. Property Brothers’ Jonathan Scott
“Never stop inspiring and surprising the person you love and allow them to do the same for you.

34. Actor Eric Dane
“I was going to say, ‘It’s work, relationships take work,’ but that makes it sound like relationships are hard, that they’re work. Rebecca and I have always gotten along really well. We’ve always had a really strong connection. I’m the last guy that should be giving people advice on love, that’s for sure. But I have a great marriage. I just got lucky, I guess.”

35. Actress Angie Harmon
“Kyra Sedgwick told me, ‘Keep your heart where your feet are’ and that’s incredibly difficult to do. It takes a lot of concentration. You’ve got to be conscientious of each other.”

36. Actor Jesse Metcalfe
“There’s no perfect relationship. All relationships are work. If you put in the work, you’ll reap the rewards.”

37. Actress Cara Santana
“‘It’s much better to understand than to be understood,’ from my mom.”

38. Actor Dennis Haskins
“I lost my dad back in the fall, and my dad said something to me a long time ago. He said, ‘Are you happy with who you are now?’ because we just had a real serious talk. And I said, ‘Yeah.’ He said, ‘Then you can’t regret what got you to where you are. So whatever you do and whatever mistakes you make, learn from them and grow. And just always treat people with kindness,’ which I’ve tried to do.”

The post Best Love Advice EVER! 38 Secrets To A Happy Relationship appeared first on 12thBLOG.

Here’s one thing that the happiest couples do – and you can start it tonight!

In the largest relationship survey ever conducted, researchers asked couples to rate their happiness and satisfaction in bed. Then they dug deep to find out what the happiest couples have in common. The research, released in the New York Times bestseller The Normal Bar, is a fantastic guide to what makes happy couples tick.

Here’s one fact we found fascinating: Of the “extrememely happy couples” 74% had one thing in common. It has nothing to do with body shape or frequency of sex. It is actually a very easy thing to add to your relationship to improve your happiness, deepen your intimacy and improve your sex life.

Ready for the big secret? …

A back massage!

That’s right, almost three quarters of the couples who reported they were extremely happy share back massage with their partner.

As sex educators, we focus as much on couples massage as we do on foreplay techniques and other sexual skills. That is because we know how important massage is to a relationship. We believe that if you are going to learn one skill to improve your relationship and have a better sex life, full body massage is the best skill to learn.

Why does something as simple as back massage make such a difference in your relationship?

First, massage is love in action. When your partner spends their time and attention focused on giving you the pure pleasure of massage, you feel loved and cared for. Nothing brings a couple closer than a regular practice of lavishing one another with skilled, pleasurable touch.

The second reason massage is that it helps slay stress. Stress is enemy #1 of your sex life. Stress kills your libido, drains your energy and ultimately makes you miserable. Sharing massage with your lover is an effective and efficient way to destress at the end of your day while spending quality time together. Less stress means more pleasure, higher sex drive and a better sex life.

Finally, back massage is one of the most luxurious and pleasurable experiences of full body touch. The skin on skin contact of back massage releases feel good hormones that contribute to your overall wellness and happiness. Back massage brings health and joy into your daily life together. Imagine being able to afford going to the spa three times a week for a great massage. Do you think you’d be happier and healthier? Now imagine getting the same quality massage from your lover at home anytime you wish. What could be better?

Sharing a massage with your lover doesn’t isn’t hard. You don’t need to set aside an hour at a time or buy any expensive equipment. We believe so much in the power of couple’s massage that we designed an online video course just for you. We reveal the secrets of professional quality massage so you can give a great massage on your first try. We even show you how to give an amazing massage in as little as five minutes so you can get all the benefits of massage on even your busiest days.

Ready to get started? Come check out our Couples Massage Mastery Course and give it a try risk-free. If you don’t love it or if sharing massage doesn’t make you happier, we’ll refund your purchase, no questions asked. Better yet? Use the code YourTango for an exclusive 20% discount. Now go grab some massage oil and get ready to join the prestigous club of “extremely happy couples!”

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Three ways to remind yourself that life will, in fact, go on.

Divorce will do your head in. Even if you’re in a really bad marriage and you need to escape with just the tattered remnants of your soul intact, there will still be some sadness when word comes down that the divorce is finalized. Even total liberation can throw us for a loop.

For me, the entire process of my divorce – from the early stages of disbelief and emotional turmoil to eventual graceful acceptance and even zen – has been a wild ride. When you walk away from a marriage, even if the love might be long gone, there’s something bittersweet about it all. In my own tale, at least, there have been vast stretches of time when I went down the “If only we’d figured out a way” trail before finally succumbing to gently holding hands with my blues; it just seemed to make more sense than trying to bash in every teardrop’s skull with a weapon of mass denial. But amid the sadness, I’ve also found inspiring bright sides. Not in the sense that I find myself jumping for joy, more like little everyday stuff that suddenly make so much more sense as a guy leaving a marriage and walking away from a dream.

So without further adieu, here’s 3 little ways I found happiness in the midst of divorce. They’re nothing super profound – and that’s the point. These few incidental things became almost magical during a time in my life when all of my senses were heightened by heartache. When you’re divorcing and confused and upset and uncertain, small reminders that life goes on can make one hell of a difference. Trust me on that one.

1. Take Some Time To Be Alone

Most married people have to really work at carving out some alone time; my ex and I sure did. Between work and kids we rarely had much time to hang out together, let alone our own solitude. Now that I’m divorced, despite being overcome with a lot of unsettled grief, I’ve been almost overwhelmed by the opportunity to have a little ‘me time’ for the first time in ages. Standing alone in my home with no one else around (and no one showing up) was harrowing at first. I have to imagine it’s not uncommon for new divorcees to gravitate towards seeing that isolation as something very sad or frightening.

But it doesn’t have to be. Even if you’re a social animal who thrives on human company, time alone is a gift. I have three young kids who crazy up my home so on the days and nights that they’re with their mom, I have to jam in a lot of work and chores. But during each stretch when they’re gone and I’m done doing what needs to be done, I’ve come to revel in the chance to just hang out by myself, to think, to veg out. Initially, I felt guilty for feeling so thrilled at the prospect of having time to myself but I soon decided to hell with that and soon enough, these moments of potential loneliness turned into the chance for me to be me again. With a book, a movie, a frozen pizza and a little wine, the possibilities are endless and the rewards are immeasurable.

2. Feel Empathy For Other People

People often think they have good hearts and understanding minds but you’re never really as far along the road to enlightenment as you think you are. That’s just human nature; there’s always room to improve and be a better human, a greater friend, or a more worthwhile stranger. When my marriage started to crumble, I suddenly had the ability to connect with a much larger percentage of my fellow Earthlings beacuse so many other people hurt too, for a billion different reasons.

People lose loved ones every day. They lose their jobs and they wreck their cars and they get sick or hurt. Real tried and true sadness is everywhere, slamming into decent people every few minutes and those people aren’t just living inside CNN. The same kind of melancholy and gut emotion you see people dealing with in war-torn nations lives right down your block, too, and when you’re tuned into it I believe you start to be a better person. Divorce has helped me in that way. As weird as it may sound on the surface, acknowledging and feeling connected to my neighbor’s struggle – whether I know him or not – makes me feel more alive. And that makes me happy.

3. Listen To Some Great Music

Okay. My best for last. (And who knew? Who could have ever guessed that something as common as divorce could take a man by the hand and lead him back to something as common as music?) Not me, I’ll tell you that much. But that’s exactly what happened.

Like a lot of people, I dig my music: always have, always will. However, I think it’s common to move away from music at times in your life, especially during a marriage. You’re working, you’re wrangling kids, and you want a little peace and quiet. Even in the car on the way to your job or listening to tunes while you make dinner, we often slip away from that wildly serious relationship we had with bands and records and songs when we were young and free, when the music we listened to felt like it was written for us and about us.

That’s what happened to me; I lost so much of my passion as a music listener. My ears shut it down and everything became background noise. But then, out of nowhere, I found myself divorced and out of nowhere, music came raging back into my world. I believe that the true power of music, the soul of it, lies dormant while you’re running around living your regular life but then throw a tragedy into the mix and BOOM! That certain nameless magic buried down deep in the music that you used to know wakes up hard and fast. It leaps up out of a long coma to grab you by the throat and force your sad face down into that long-lost steaming pile of thrills and reflections and connections that you haven’t felt for a long, long time.

Let me sum it up. I’ll be 43 years old in a couple weeks and I’m not exactly thrilled that I’ve had to experience the lows of a divorce. Yet on most evenings when I find myself without my kids, I end up riding down mountain roads where I live, my cigarette smoke curling up out the cracked window. If you were watching, you’d see a grown man witnessing the sun sink down below the hills. You’d see a grown man all up in his head, thinking about love and living and losing and learning. You’d see a grown man running a Honda down the valley at dusk to the blaring beauty of something I had never known before my broken heart. You’d see a single dad, pushing middle age, staring at the horizon and listening to The Cure’s Disintegration album loud as hell, knowing that every single song on this record I discovered almost 25 years after it first came out was written about a certain guy at a certain time in his up-and-down life.

The post 3 Small, But Super-Effective Ways To Be Happy When Life’s A B*tch appeared first on 12thBLOG.

Is your girl satisfied in bed? No really, is she? How would you know if she wasn’t? Most women don’t want to hurt our partner’s feelings and it’s always a little uncomfortable telling someone you love they aren’t performing in the ways that make your body feel good. It’s awkward.

There are, however, a few hints that almost all girls gives either unintentionally (or sometimes intentionally) that signal you aren’t really aren’t doing it for us – or to us – in the right way.

1. She gives excuses as to why she can’t have sex.

This one is so obvious that it should hit you in the face with a big flashing WARNING SIGN, but soooo many guys miss it. Sure, sometimes we really do have a headache or we’re just tired but if “sleepiness” becomes a regular roadblock to a party in the bedroom, it’s time to start wondering what else is going on. If your girl’s not interested in partaking in one of life’s most exhilarating activities with you, it might be because she doesn’t enjoy doing it with you.

2. She rushes through sex.

If you do make it to the bedroom but she skips right past the foreplay, it’s another sign that you might just not be that good. A quickie is great every once in a while, but if it becomes a regular thing to skip foreplay and jump right to the orgasm, she’s probably a little more interested in the release than in you. Good sex is like good food: you savor and enjoy what tastes good but you rush through a meal that’s only purpose is to nourish you.

3. She doesn’t care if she doesn’t orgasm.

Admittedly, girls can be a little tricky to work out down there, but if she’s stopped trying to reach orgasm with you, it’s a pretty good indicator that she doesn’t think you have the skills to get it done. She may love you enough to engage in the act, but if she’s stopped trying to get the same release for herself, it might be because you just haven’t been doing her right.

4. She plays director in the bedroom.

Some girls are just bossy, but if you hear a constant string of “No, don’t do that, move here, put your hands here,” the problem might actually be you. If a lady likes what you’re doing, she’s not going to constantly tell you to do something else.

5. She doesn’t cuddle afterwards.

Does your girl disappear as soon as the deed is done? That might be a sign that she’s frustrated with you. Sex can be a very bonding experience and if your girl wants to roll over or walk away as soon as it’s over, you can probably conclude that she isn’t feeling what your giving, no pun intended. (Trust me, if I just spent the last hour frustrated with you, the last thing I want to do is snuggle up to you.)

6. She masturbates more than she has sex with you.

Do I really need an explanation for this one? Logic says you want more of the thing that feels best. If she wants more of something that isn’t you….bingo. If you can’t rock her body right, then she’ll just have to do it herself.

7. She makes comments about the great sex her friends are having.

Do you need a hint bigger than this one? “Suzy and Tom have sex three times a week and she orgasms every time!” It’s the same as when she drop hints about what her friends’ husbands bought them for their birthdays right about the time that hers rolls around. She wants what her friends have and she is mentioning it because YOU aren’t giving it to her.

8. She suggests changing it up in the bedroom.

People make suggestions when they want to make things better so if she’s coming to you with new ideas, it might be because she is not fully satisfied with what you are offering her now. Listen to her!

9. She seems preoccupied.

If you two are going at it and her mind seems elsewhere, chances are it’s because she isn’t enjoying herself. It’s like sitting through a lecture. “I showed up but I’m really bored and I’m thinking about everything except being here, and I’m trying to stay awake…” If she isn’t engaged in the moment, it’s because you aren’t offering enough to make her want to pay attention.

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Britney, the middle child of three kids, wanted to be a star from a really young age.

Britney Spears appearing on the Mickey Mouse Club!

She became a world wide sensation! Who hasn’t had Britney as a childhood idol?

The famous kiss with Madonna at the 2003 MTV Music Awards.

Happy birthday Britney!

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Do you remember most of them?

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Mother is the wisest person in the world.

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