With the craziness of the holidays in full swing, it’s easy to take out any frustrations on your SO. Sexual health expert Dr. Hilda Hutcherson told us that despite the distractions and stress, couples can avoid fights and feelings of distance during this time of year. Here are three common holiday pitfalls she shared, as well as tips for steering clear of them.

1. Feeling too unhealthy for intimacy. “With all of the holiday goodies that are, no doubt, in abundance during this time of the year, it is difficult for anyone to abide by a healthy diet,” Dr. Hutcherson concedes. And unfortunately, cookies and eggnog can lead to sluggishness that may turn couples off to intimacy, she explains. “Instead of allowing yourself to give into the power of sweets, make sure to stick to the old adage ‘everything in moderation,’ ensuring that you will to stay in good spirits and good shape.”
2. Neglecting each other. “The holidays are all about spending quality time with your loved ones, yet we often forget about the loved one who we see most often,” says Dr. Hutcherson. “If you are hosting family from out of town or visiting relatives elsewhere, be sure that your partner doesn’t feel neglected by interacting with your him, on an intimate level.” Some tips to help: flirting, touching, and connecting sexually. “A great trick: make a point to hug each other at least three times a day for at least 30 seconds each time,” she suggests.
3. Money worries. “Harping about the financial toll of the holidays is often a pitfall that claims many people during the Winter months,” Dr. Hutcherson points out. She says keeping the lines of communication open is key. “Discussing the pesky issues that arise can help couples address them together, thus bringing partners closer together. Getting the perfect gift doesn’t necessarily mean a fancy watch or diamonds.” Instead, she says, “invest time, as opposed to money, in your relationship.”

Do you have any advice to add?

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I know some people are all about making mistakes over and over and over because it makes them so relatable or cool or whatever (trust: forgetting to send a thank-you note doesn’t make you cool — it makes you a jerk), but I will continue to be a proponent of doing things the easy way — yes, the easy way! Because most of the time avoiding dumb mistakes is much easier than cleaning up the mess a mistake creates. So in that vein, check out these 20 first-date mistakes to avoid:

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1.Discussing what you discovered when you pre-date Googled each other.
2.Asking for a kiss. (If you have to ask, it ruins the mood. Just go for it — the worst that will happen is you’ll get the hand.)
3.Begging for a kiss.
4.Proposing.
5.Checking your phone.
6.Letting the other person pay if you’re the one who did the asking. Going dutch is not an appropriate first-date activity.
7.Quoting your therapist.
8.Showing too many pictures of your cats.
9.Wearing anything you’d wear to the beach if you aren’t going to the beach.
10.Bringing uninvited friends along.

Related: The Six Things You Need For a Happy, Long-Term Relationship

11.Announcing it on Facebook.
12.Suggesting that your date is a “tease.”
13.Admitting that you’re crazy, even in a “joking” way.
14.Giving too many compliments (make three your limit).
15.Interviewing your date for the position of your significant other.
16.Discussing all your dietary quirks. No one cares.
17.Getting too drunk (again, three is a good limit for just about everything, including cocktails).
18.Forgetting to mention you have kids.
19.Talking about sex if you don’t plan on having it on the first date.
20.Name-dropping anyone for the sake of impressing your date.

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